Goodbye (Finished)
by xOooBubblesooOx
Summary: Shuichi is upset, and alone... Find out why
1. Chapter 1

It hurt looking down at the dark gray stone before me. Hard to believe he was gone. It felt like a dream that I was never going to wake up from.

One night, he was holding he to his chest in our bed, his heart beat in my ears, and the next night he was gone, that heart beat never to be heard again. It still echoes in my head at night...or is that my own? I don't care. I see it as his and it helps me sleep better. I want to cry so bad but I couldn't cry anymore to save my life. I cried for three days almost none stop once I heard what happen. Once I seen the paper... heard the news...once Tohma told me...

Eiri Yuki was gone.

Never to return to us. Never to hold me again in those strong arms of his...

Gone.

I still cry myself to sleep some nights. I cant seem to live at home anymore. To many memories, cause so much pain. I have been living with Hiro. So...once i build up that courage...I went back...I set the apartment on fire. Burned everything. All but his laptop.

Yuki's black laptop, one of the things he cherished the most, sat in the dark blue case at my side. Its one of the only thing I kept out of his stuff and mine. All the rest went up in flames. All but the cloths I had on and the laptop. I didn't want anyone else to live there, to make new memories in those walls and covering the ones we made. Selfish I know, but I don't care. Yuki and I where the last to live there and I rather is had stayed like that.

"I quit Bad Luck" I said to him as if he was there with me.

"I cant sing anymore now that you're gone. The words just don't come to me like they did when you were here." The wind around me picked up as my now blond with black highlighted hair blew across my shoulders. I let it grow. My eyes were no longer that purple color. They were now gold like his. No...not like his. My eyes are to innocent to be like his. Today is a big day, but it hurts so much to be here. Hurts so much for you to not be here for it. One year...One year ago today, Yuki left this world. Left us behind. Left me in this pain that will never leaves me. I mean look at the time that has gone by... One year and I still cant let him do.

"Tohma's going to be a father. He's naming the baby after you. Little Eiri Yuki Uesugi. Yeah they are going to have Mika's madden last name on there instead." Tears rimmed my eyes, I haven't cried in a week and I didn't think I could cry anymore. Maybe I can cry after all.

Sighing I stood and looked down at the stone one last time, setting a single white with red tip rose on the gold name on the stone. He gave me a set of them before he left...On the day that marked 4 years of us being side by side.. So I want to give him one too. "

I'm leaving for Florida today. I won't be back...No Yuki, I won't forget you. I love you too much too. I haven't forgotten you after a year so I don't think I will ever forget you. Fuck I can't even find another lover, I love you so much." Not having anymore to say and not being able to stand it much longer, I turned to walk away to the black car that always stood out from the rest. Yeah I kept his car too. I drive it now.

Looking back one more time I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

I HATE today the most.

"Happy birthday, Yuki..."


	2. Chapter 2

That same night I got on the plane to fly to Florida. Leaving the memories behind...Well the place they all were. They will always be in my head and heart. But being where they all were, It hurts more.

I wrote one last song finally. Typed it on his laptop wile I waited to board the plane. If he seen it he would say I have zero talent...Just like the first time he seen my writing the day we met in the park.

'Kiss away my tears,  
Kill all my fears,  
Tell me its ok,  
Like you did all those years.'

Looking threw all his novels on the laptop I found the one he was typing before he got sick. I finished the last chapter for him, emailed it to his publisher. I hope she likes the end. I put a small note in the back, thanking everyone for being his fan and staying with him and I threw it all. I had to thank the fans, they send in money for Yuki's treatment. Sadly it didn't help much. Only took away his pain, he was still sick.

'Hug me threw the night,  
Say that its alright,  
Kiss me one more time,  
Before you see the light.'

On the plane, I looked threw our pictures. "Look how stupid I look." I whispered to Yuki as if he was sitting next to me in the empty seat to my right, by the window. He always sat by the window then we flew. Ignoring me and watching the world below us.

'You made my heart soar,  
I cant take any more,  
The day that you left me,  
I walked out that door.'

When the plane touched down in Florida, I got into a limo as Tohma requested for me. He even bought me an apartment here and is going to pay rent for me until I find a job. It was a small house but it worked. He had it furnished for me and all so I don't have to buy anything.

'I'm starting a new life,  
Ending the old,  
Nothing more,  
To keep this hold.

I let go of the guilt,  
Let go of the lies,  
Locked away the pain,  
Locked away all the cry's.

I just want you to know,  
How much that I care,  
Want you to know,  
I was always there.

So I tell you once more,  
before I make a new,  
Baby I'm here,  
And still I love you.'

I sent Tohma my song. He likes it. Hes putting the lyrics in the back of Bad Lucks final CD. Hiro is moving on to collage like he wanted to. Suguru joined a new group that took our place. I wish them luck.

'I cant let go,  
But I don't let it show,  
You're always in my heart,  
And I always keep that hold.'

I walked into the apartment and broke into tears. Everything looks the same as back home. Its kinda funny if you think about it, feels like I never left home. But I love it.

'You look at me today,  
You will have to say,  
I'm taking it better,  
Each and every day.

But when I look back,  
At how I would act,  
It was my fault,  
Your life went black.'

Going to the bedroom I froze at the door. On the wall above the bed was a picture of him. Across the bottom...

'Start a new life,  
Ending the old,  
Something more,  
To keep this hold.

Let go of the guilt,  
Let go of the lies,  
Get rid of the pain,  
Let out all the cry's.

I just want you to know,  
How much I care,  
Want you to know,  
I will always be there.

So i tell you once more,  
before you make a new,  
Baby I'm there,  
And I always will love you.'

I cried myself to sleep that night. But I don't know if they were sad tears. I was happy. The pillow under me smelled like him. I dont know how, or why, but it did. There is that heart beat again in my ear. Yuki's heartbeat as I always called it as I fell asleep to it.

'Kiss away my tears,  
Kill all my fears,  
Tell me its ok,  
Like you did all those years

Hug me threw the night,  
Say that its alright,  
Kiss me one more time,  
Before you see the light.

You made my heart soar,  
I always want more,  
And now that you're here,  
I wont cry anymore.'

It felt good to see him again. To be in his arms. If everyone knew what I did before I went to see his grave they would have taken me to the hospital. His pain meds took a long time to kick in.

"I love you, Shuichi." I smiled at his words, took his hand and walked into the light with him.

"I love you too, Eiri."


End file.
